Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Name is August Christopher.

Isn’t it super annoying when blog titles are obscure inside jokes? That one is for the ladies with big scissors. It’s also dedicated to my brother and a brazil nut, both of whom I’m pretty sure don’t read my blog.

Isn’t it even more annoying when you read the first few sentences of a post and have no idea what the heck we’re talking about?! PLEASE STICK WITH ME, READERS . . . I promise there’s a list coming . . . 2 in fact! I just miss the fam, so that was my shout out. “Hola Familia.”

Okay, moving on. . . I don’t know about you, but I name everything. Especially inanimate objects. In fact, it’s one of my favourite things to do, and I take it fairly seriously. Here are a few characteristics that I think make up a good name:

1. It’s folded
2. It’s witty
3. It’s long but can be shortened
4. It’s nickname friendly
5. It’s funny
6. It makes people think “dang, I wish I would have thought of that.”

Here are the few of the things I love to name:

1. Purses and Bags (but generally only the expensive / special ones)
2. Electronics
3. Cars
4. Shoes (again, usually only the really special pairs)

Now to bring this full circle, I grew up in a family where naming things was basically expected. My group of friends would likely agree, since they too partake in the ritual. But are we just a bunch of crazies?

Right, that’s a loaded question.

Anywhosie, what’s the name of your favourite bag or techy toy? Future blog posts to come with the lists of gems I’ve had in my day.

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Differences v2

The 2nd edition of the top differences between living in London vs. Phoenix (read the 1st edition here):

1. Instead of the obligatory “how are you?” the English are prone to asking “you all right?” At first this threw me off, and I would think ‘yeah I’m fine!’ and then wonder why they asked . . . do I look sad? Is my appearance disheveled? Am I bleeding? Is there some other sign that indicates I’m not okay?! Luckily, the paranoia died down and I realized it’s just their way of saying “how are you?” just as Americans automatically do after saying ‘hi’ to someone. Phew!

2. The second difference works to my benefit: I don’t recognize celebrities here! This is a good thing, as I have the tendency to get extremely star struck and act like a complete idiot in the presence of anyone famous. Now however, I have less opportunities to embarrass myself and that’s always a bonus. Don’t get me wrong, if I see the lady* below or any of her gal pals I’m still going to freeze up and not be able to move or talk. I may not be hip to CURRENT London pop culture yet, but I don’t live under a rock.


3. I can’t convincingly try to fit in here without talking about the weather, so let’s get that out of the way. . . It goes without saying that the climate between Phoenix and London varies SUBSTANTIALLY. People I know are very concerned that I won’t be able to hack it in the winter, but I’ve gotta tell you . . . I LOVE THE COLD! I swear I’m not just saying that because it’s only October, I’ve claimed it for years. I have experienced the mid-west during ‘real’ winters, snow and all. Granted, I can appreciate that living in a cold climate is different than visiting, but I think I’ll be just fine. I’m not a fan of Arizona’s weather and I never really have been. Sorry Phoenix – I still love you, but as a wise friend told me “London is the prettiest shade of grey.”

4. Now this may be slightly obvious, but part of living in a large European city is all of the different cultures that you encounter daily. Just in the office alone we have over 30 different ethnicities. I’m having a hell of a time trying to keep all the accents straight! I’ve realized it’s best to not assume anyone is from anywhere and just ask so that you don’t sounds like a lame-o if you guess wrong.

*Oh snap! 4 down and 1 to go!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Train of Thought {Literally}

This is what was going on in my head during the tube ride this morning:

1. Do the people I see sleeping ever snooze through their stops?
2. I should have gone to bed earlier last night.
3. I wish I was snoozing right now.
4. I don’t think I could fall asleep on the tube.
5. Is it sad that I want to be in bed by 9pm during the week?
6. Does every girl in London besides me have a Longchamp Le Pliage bag?
7. Should I buy a Longchamp Le Pliage bag?!
8. I should make a list of things I want to buy.
9. No, that seems dangerous.
10. Eh, I’ll do it anyways . . .
11. Mulberry bag makes the list too!
12. Seems appropriate for London.
13. You know what else is appropriate?
14. Scarves!
15. I should really wear my scarves more.
16. That guy has a cool scarf on.
17. Hmm, that guy also has shaving cream on the back of his ear.
18. I wonder if anyone is going to tell him.
19. Maybe if he looks in this direction I’ll touch my ear as a clue.
20. Oh he’s looking!
21. Oooohhh. MAN.
22. That guy also has shaving cream on the side of his nose.
23. Ah crap, I didn’t touch my ear.
24. Ah crap, I instead made a not-so-nice facial expression.
25. He’s probable wondering why I just looked at him in such a rude manner.
26. Eh, I imagine when he sees himself in the mirror at some point today he’ll figure it out.

Anie: Helping my fellow commuter one thought at a time.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Hilarity!

Dear TiffanyFromOnTheVerge,
I wish I could give credit to whoever turned me on to your blog, but alas I read so many that I can't remeber how I found your corner of the internet.  Needless to say, you were quickly added to my reader and today's post has taken the cake!

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BECAUSE IT IS HYSTERICAL!

Thanks for the laughs!

Love,
DamnIWishIWouldHaveThoughOfThat

Thursday, October 14, 2010

For the Love of Pumpkins


Dear PreciousPumpkins,
I’m concerned. Very. Concerned. Where are you!?

I haven’t seen you in the coffee joints or bakeries. I haven’t seen you in any cafe or gelato shop. You’re not available via soup or muffin. You’re nowhere to be found in the local grocery store, and I haven’t even spotted you for Halloween prep.

IT’s OCTOBER, PUMPKINS! You should most definitely be around. This is YOUR season and normally it’s a GLORIOUS time of year. It’s one of my favourite times of year in fact, when it’s acceptable to enjoy you in large quantities from now until after Christmas. Yet sadly, I haven’t had you at all . . . {tear}.

I’m left to assume that this is one of the cultural differences between the US and UK, and frankly it’s the worst I’ve encountered thus far. I miss you my precious pumpkins, please turn up soon.

Love,
GourdEnthusiast

PS – I pray that I’ve just had bad pumpkin luck . . . if anyone in London or surrounding areas has any tips for partaking in some pumpkin loving please help set me right.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I’m on Strike

Okay so I’m not actually on strike, but tube services in London were earlier this week . . . and in other relevant and non-relevant news:
1. Walking home from the grocery store the other night I suddenly encountered an overwhelming smell of grape BubbleYum gum. Why am I telling you this? Because I thought you should know. Obvs.



2. I just finished reading a VERY good book called Little Bee. . . I would tell you about it, but I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t spoil it. Even the book says so . . .see:

“We don’t want to tell you WHAT HAPPENS in this book. It is truly a SPECIAL STORY and we don’t want to spoil it. NEVERTHELESS, you need to know enough to buy it, so we’ll just say this: This is the story of two women. Their lives collide one fateful day, and one of them has to make a terrible choice, the kind of choice we hope you never have to make. Two years later, they meet again – the story starts there . . . Once you have read it you’ll want to tell your friends about it. When you do, please don’t tell them what happens. The magic is in how the story unfolds.”

Because I don’t like being out of the loop it didn’t take much convincing for me to read it, and I’m VERY glad I did. If you’re looking for something new, definitely check it out.



3. In case I forgot to mention in my last post, I’ve purchase new boots! Three pairs in fact. Before you go questioning my spending habits, I’d like to point out that based on the climate of my current environment all 3 pairs are a good investment, one may even say necessity! Of course that one saying it is me, but I think its fine.



4. I know what you’re thinking, “she bought 3 pairs of boots?!” Not 2 pairs or 4 pairs, like a normal person with OCD about even numbers? Here’s one of the many amazing things about of shoes . . . THEY COME IN PAIRS! They’re automatically even numbered by nature, so 3 pairs are made up of 6 individual shoes! It’s a beautiful thing, people.


5. Recently I had the pleasure of skyping with this guy, and he's ADORABLE!


6. My good friend Amanda had a baby. Her name is Emersyn, and she's such a cutie! Can't wait to meet her when I'm home for a visit:

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Just Another Morning

Dear LadyOnTheTube,
You’ve successfully confused me. Are you actually a random nice Lady who likes to partake in random acts of kindness? OR are you in fact a rude, assumptive Lady who I want to punch?

On our commute into work this morning, you and I were both standing holding on to the less than sanitary rails on the train as to not fall or lose our balance. Hey lady, it happens – to the best of us! People fall! For no apparent reason! And then those people look around to see if someone pushed them. And those people should not be made fun of, or stared at! As though falling on the tube (into other people!) is not mortifying enough on its own, the glaring eyes really make those people who fell want to jump off at the next stop (even if it’s not their ultimate destination) just so they can get away from the scene of the fall! I digress, as that really has nothing to do with you Lady, but I thought I’d just put that out there. Not because I personally fell recently of course, but just because it’s a topic that effects those using public transportation in general. Yup, not me – just in general. Uh huh.

Anywho, back to you Lady . . . as we approached the next stop someone got off the train leaving a coveted empty seat. As I was only a couple stops away from where I was heading, I didn’t bother to try and scoop the seat up – plus I think my new boots are better served when I’m standing and you can get the full effect of my ensemble. Being a seemingly experienced commuter you slid into the empty seat with ease before any newly-joining travellers could take it from you. “Mind the closing doors” rang into our ears and our journey continued. No sooner was the train back in motion, that you were looking me up and down (I though noticing the boots, score!) but then much to my surprise (read: dismay) you then looked me straight in the eyes and offered me your seat.

WHOA! Hold it right there Lady – I’m definitely not older than you, nor am I disabled, travelling with luggage, children, purchases, or any other category that would suggest one should give up their seat to me. I’ve been in this lovely city just long enough to know that when a place to sit on the tube becomes available you scoop that bad boy up unless a senior citizen or prego lady is in close radius. . .

THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME! Holy crap Lady, you must think I’m pregnant! OMG, is it because my dress has horizontal stripes on it? Is it because I’m holding my sweater in front of my stomach and you thinks I’m trying to warm some type of bun-in-the-oven? Holy hell, do these boots make me look fat?!

Clearly it can’t be the latter as these boots are amazing, so I quickly realized that maybe my ensemble wasn’t as flattering as I thought. You know when you leave the house thinking you look like hot shit and then with one glance, one comment, one offer-of-a-seat later you second guess your fashion sense? I hate that. As soon as I got to work I headed to the bathroom’s full length mirror to reassess my situation. I totally did NOT look prego – AT ALL! I assure you I wasn’t just deducting that to make myself feel better, in no way did my clothing or it’s fit suggest that I was with child. Could I just be losing my mind and you are actually a Lady who likes to be nice for no apparent reason? Isn’t it sad that I automatically assumed you were a jerk who was making assumptions about me? Sheesh Lady, with one little act you made me think perhaps I was jaded, and worse that my new boots were anything short of awesome!

In any case, I promise you this Lady . . . if for any reason whatsoever I somehow magically discover that my first instinct was right and you offered me your seat because you thought I was knocked-up then so help me I’m going to hunt you down and provide you with a smorgasbord of sandwiches! And these aren’t going to be enjoyable tea sandwiches . . . they’re going to be a good old fashion helping of BREAD-KNUCKLE-BREAD! You got that, Lady!?

Love,
AssOutOfUMe

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Pinktober: Think Pink

Save the: 
  1. Breasts
  2. Tatas
  3. Boobies
  4. Second Base
  5. Chests
  6. Cleavage
  7. Melons
  8. . . . and any other nouns of choice.
For Our:
  1. Mothers
  2. Sisters
  3. Friends
  4. Wives
  5. Grandmothers
  6. Aunts
  7. Colleagues
  8. . . . and other amazing women (and MEN!) in our lives.
 Through:
  1. Volunteering
  2. Sharing
  3. Running/Walking
  4. Donating
  5. Listening
  6. Educating
  7. Praying
  8. . . . and getting involved.
 Because We: 
  1. Care
  2. Sympathize
  3. Miss
  4. Want
  5. Need
  6. Worry
  7. Support
  8. . . . and most importantly LOVE.
Do something this October . . . be part of the CURE.