Friday, October 23, 2009

My mind is a sponge.

You know how they* say you learn something new every day? Well it’s been 10 days since I’ve last blogged and I know you’re just dying to find out what I’ve learned since then, don’t worry I won’t keep you in suspense. Seriously stop freaking out, just keep reading and you’ll find everything your heart desires . . .sheesh, impatient much!?

In no particular order:

1. My mom prefers being addressed by her first name instead of “mom” or any variation thereof. She’ll lie and tell you she doesn’t, but really she loves it. It makes her feel like her kids are sophisticated and wise**

2. If Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera had a baby*** with Jackie Chan it would be my bff’s husband:

3. Completing a corn maze in 100 degree weather is a sure fire way to feel like poo for the rest of the afternoon. . . Don’t do it.

4. LL and I don’t take advantage of our Costco membership often enough. If you give them a mere dollar they give you a CHURRO in exchange . . . holy-warm-cinnamon-stick that’s a freaking good DEAL!

5. If I had as many blog readers as blogs I read I’d have a pretty popular blog. I need a PofA**** to accomplish this!

6. The word BLOG comes from the phrase “web log” am I the only one who this is news to? Similarly, the word ELRBBON***** comes from the phrase “NE Loves Ribbon” which I have a suspicion will be new-news to most.

7. Toodle-oo is the way all the cool kids are saying goodbye (aka peace out) these days. Trust me, you’ll want to start doing it too, not only is it fun, but it’s also pretty close to the word doodle, so what’s not to like?

8. My cousins H&MThePeopleNotTheStore cooked up one cute baby, here is proof******:

9. Concrete samples aren’t chocolate! This lesson was tough as I could have sworn I saw a Godiva bag sitting at our reception desk last night. Alas when I stuck my hand in for a treat I only found concrete. (I’m a poet and you didn’t know it.)

10. Bumble bee is the best transformer and Optimus Prime is really just a robot zombie.

At this rate of learning it’s a wonder I don’t keel over from pure exhaustion!

*who exactly is THEY? I’d like to know because “they” seem to know a lot of helpful shit. I imagine she is one of “they” since she learns things all the time.
**NOT to be confused with OLD and wise. Do you love getting punched? Then go ahead and confuse the two.
***What do you mean you’ve never played
SSP?! Get on the bandwagon!
****Plan of Action
*****Pronounced “eller-bin”
******Further proof to be obtained this weekend when I finally get to meet the kid!

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