Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Come Fly With Me, Let’s Fly, Let’s Fly Away.

Dear PeopleWhoLoveBeingInTheKnow,
Have you ever heard of Scoopfactory? It’s quite an enjoyable daily email that gives you great info on events, dining, fashion and more . . . I’m endorsing for the following reasons:

1. It’s written with wit and cleverness, 2 of my favorite things.

2. I like being in the loop on important happs, and duh they give you the scoop.

3. They have contests all the time where you can win fun stuff. I just entered for a $200 Barney’s gift card last week and all you have to do is send them an email to enter, no giving out info for marketing junk. (I’m allowed to say “marketing junk” since I’m a bonafide marketer.)

4. Today’s email had a funny bit about the Yankees in it, and as evidence by my recent blogs (and a dream I had last night featuring Mark Teixeira, weird.) I’m a fan! Here’s a sample copied from today's Scoop. . .

Straight Trippin’
Steve Miller left on a jet plane. We’re leaving on a really discounted Southwest flight.

Airline flight sales are hardly worth it when you discover all the concessions (we’re not talking in-flight snacks, we mean redeyes, black out dates, alternative airports). But when
Southwest has a sale, it’s usually easy and honest. There’s only about 48 hours left for the big 4th Quarter Sale, with one-ways priced between $25 and $100. The deals are good for travel between Dec. 2-16, 2009 and Jan. 5-Feb. 10, 2010. That’s right, Vegas for about a hundy. New York for about dos.

Speaking of New York, tonight is Game One of the World Series between the Phillies and the Yanks. If you know any Philly fans who are heading to NYC for those games, you may want to offer them a little advice: Stay at the Hotel Indigo in Chelsea. Why? The place is offering a “Drown Your Sorrows” package for Philly fans only: when their team loses the World Series (”As expected,” says the hotel), guests will receive a free bottle of Perrier-Jouet Champagne to help offer them more false hope in life. They must show a game ticket and valid Philly ID. Rooms start around $450 for tonight and tomorrow. Click
here for more info.

Way to go Hotel Indigo - that's classic! Don't you want to enjoy these tid bits too? Go to Scoopfactory and sign up. . . you can thank me later. Okay fine, now is good too . . . YOU'RE WELCOME.

Love,
GoogleJustKilledMyMarkTiexieraDreamByTellingMeHeHasAWife&Kids

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Swooning for Sweets

Dear MagnoliaBakery,
I wish I had one of your delicious cupcakes right NOW. Unfortunately, I just have to live vicariously through my former self, so not the same. How did I not get a money shot of the actual cupcakes?! Damn camera:

You are the bee’s knees, the dog’s tuxedo, the champagne’s bubbles, the alcoholic’s gin, the banana’s peel . . . I could go on but I’m pretty sure you get the idea.

Love,
JustAnotherReasonIShouldBeInNYC

Monday, October 26, 2009

Awesome Blossom

Things I’m currently finding particularly enjoyable today:

1. YANKEES ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!

2. Jay-Z is performing my FAVORITE BP3 song in Yankee Stadium on Wednesday. . . wish I could be there again!

3. Apple & Bee bags . . . the website might be one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen! I really need to go to Australia, but since I can’t afford that at the moment, I’ll have to save my dollars and purchase online.

4. MILES! Don't be nervous, I'm not giving into the peer pressure.

Happy Monday, Kids.

Friday, October 23, 2009

My mind is a sponge.

You know how they* say you learn something new every day? Well it’s been 10 days since I’ve last blogged and I know you’re just dying to find out what I’ve learned since then, don’t worry I won’t keep you in suspense. Seriously stop freaking out, just keep reading and you’ll find everything your heart desires . . .sheesh, impatient much!?

In no particular order:

1. My mom prefers being addressed by her first name instead of “mom” or any variation thereof. She’ll lie and tell you she doesn’t, but really she loves it. It makes her feel like her kids are sophisticated and wise**

2. If Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera had a baby*** with Jackie Chan it would be my bff’s husband:

3. Completing a corn maze in 100 degree weather is a sure fire way to feel like poo for the rest of the afternoon. . . Don’t do it.

4. LL and I don’t take advantage of our Costco membership often enough. If you give them a mere dollar they give you a CHURRO in exchange . . . holy-warm-cinnamon-stick that’s a freaking good DEAL!

5. If I had as many blog readers as blogs I read I’d have a pretty popular blog. I need a PofA**** to accomplish this!

6. The word BLOG comes from the phrase “web log” am I the only one who this is news to? Similarly, the word ELRBBON***** comes from the phrase “NE Loves Ribbon” which I have a suspicion will be new-news to most.

7. Toodle-oo is the way all the cool kids are saying goodbye (aka peace out) these days. Trust me, you’ll want to start doing it too, not only is it fun, but it’s also pretty close to the word doodle, so what’s not to like?

8. My cousins H&MThePeopleNotTheStore cooked up one cute baby, here is proof******:

9. Concrete samples aren’t chocolate! This lesson was tough as I could have sworn I saw a Godiva bag sitting at our reception desk last night. Alas when I stuck my hand in for a treat I only found concrete. (I’m a poet and you didn’t know it.)

10. Bumble bee is the best transformer and Optimus Prime is really just a robot zombie.

At this rate of learning it’s a wonder I don’t keel over from pure exhaustion!

*who exactly is THEY? I’d like to know because “they” seem to know a lot of helpful shit. I imagine she is one of “they” since she learns things all the time.
**NOT to be confused with OLD and wise. Do you love getting punched? Then go ahead and confuse the two.
***What do you mean you’ve never played
SSP?! Get on the bandwagon!
****Plan of Action
*****Pronounced “eller-bin”
******Further proof to be obtained this weekend when I finally get to meet the kid!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I got your number, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.

Dear JB,
So glad you were able to come down so we could all celebrate with you. Thanks for all your help again this year . . . You’re the best{est}.

Have an amazing day and fabulous year to come . . . 27 (although an odd number) is pretty nice, enjoy it!

Love,
NE

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Pinktober: Shop for a cure!

There are so many great products that hit shelves in support of Breast Cancer Awareness month . . . below are just a few. Get your wallets out and help save those tatas!

1. Red Envelope
That circle necklace is adorable – and I love it in gold.

2. The Spoon Sisters
I’ve been lusting over those flower nesting bowls since last year.

3. Shop Komen
Who DOESN’T need a hot pink boa?!

4. New Balance
It’s time for new tennis shoes, and these are the way to go.

5. Sephora
Fab eye lashes whilst supporting a cure? Check!

6. Target
Cookies and Breast Cancer Awareness . . . put your hands together.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Play Ball

Dear BronxBombers,
Hey buddies, how’s it going? Hope you enjoyed recent time off, I have no doubt you’re uber prepared for the Playoffs starting tonight.

Remember how fun it was when I went to see your new place back in May? Quite the digs! Remember how you were playing the Twins just like tonight? Gomez is such a bitch. Remember how it was bottom of the 9th with 2 outs, bases loaded, and we were about to lose the game? I put that rally cap on - way to win it fellas!

Let’s go Yankees!

Love,
DontJudgeMyNewFoundLoveOfTheYankeesJustBecauseItsThanksToThisGuy

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Things that make you say “UGH!”: Part 2

Luckily after I wrote Part 1 I found an episode of The Rachel Zoe Project on the DVR and my mood improved dramatically. BUT as not to disappoint and leave my list unfinished, here are my pet peeves Part 2 . . . starting right where we left off:

5. Not waving when someone lets you in.
I think a manners course should be instituted into driver’s education. One that teaches people (young and old) that the polite thing to do when someone let’s you in, let’s you over, let’s you out, or let’s you-do-anything-you-need-to-by-taking-the-time-to-consciously-break-and-make-way-for-you-and-your-vehicle is to give a little wave acknowledging they just made your life easier. I ALWAYS WAVE. I will go so far as to roll my window down and furiously shake my hand out the window to ensure the other driver sees me and knows that I KNOW that he/she is a lovely person who I appreciate. Do I look like a dufus? Yes. Do I think that’s worse than not waving? NO! I get so mad when people don’t wave, it’s like giving someone a present and in return they do nothing. They don’t say thanks, they don’t look at you, and they don’t even acknowledge that you had anything to do with the new found gift in their lap. It’s like the gift recipient is so cocky and self absorbed that they think they were entitled to the gift, it was something they earned and it’s about time they got it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We’re all in a hurry folks, no more so than when driving. Just put your hand up and WAVE damn it. UGH!

6. Incorrect place settings.

I don’t know who your grandparents are, by mine used to own a restaurant and by golly, I know how to properly set a table! I’m not suggesting that if you don’t set a table that’s an issue. I hardly ever do a proper table setting. BUT when I do get my fancy pants on you better believe everything has a place and everything is in its place! Here’s the issue I have – if you’re going to take the time to set a table you need to do it right otherwise don’t do it at all. Not doing it is a great option to avoid this mess. NO, the fork does not go on the right! YES, it’s important for the blades of the knife to be facing inward towards the plate! Come on people, it’s not that hard. Plus once you learn, it’s like riding a bike and each Thanksgiving when you get table setting duty you’ll be prepared. Otherwise, if you happen to be one of my younger cousins on my mother’s side of the family I will not hesitate to yell at you then make you fix everything one by one. UGH!

7. Bikes that think they’re cars.
Calling all bike riders: If there is a bike lane and you’re using it then you’re a gem*. IF there is a bike lane and you decide to get into regular traffic even during a left hand turn because you’re wearing your spandex and that somehow qualifies you to drive with motorized vehicles then you are a DOUCHE. You are NOT A CAR. You are a BIKE. Why aren’t you driving in the designated bike areas? Why do you insist on getting in the way of traffic? Do you want someone to run into you today? Get out of the way jackass. UGH!

8. Family stick figures.

We’ve all seen these pieces of crap . . . they’re the “cutesy” white decals that go on the back of SUVs, mini-vans, or other family trucksters. They let you know how many people are in the family, if they’re boys, if they’re girls, if they’re cats, if they’re dogs, if they’re ANNOYING AS ALL GET OUT. I cannot stand these decals! Stick figures, flip flops, pieces of poop . . . I don’t care what shape they take, they are awful! I don’t need to know if Jimmy is older than Susie and thereby has a slightly taller figurine. I don’t need to know if your family is comprised of 2 cats and one dog. I don’t need to know if you have 3 boys and only 1 girl. I DON’T CARE . . . yet I’m undoubtedly forced to take a little peek into your family because you’re stuck in front of me during rush hour. It’s hard to say what it is exactly that drives me nuts about these decals, and I’m sure some of the decal owners are very nice people. BUT so help me GOD, if said decaled vehicle driving with its top down windows up, doesn’t know how to merge, has someone’s feet on the dash, and I let them over without so much as a wave. . . I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT LIKE A SHIT COLLECTOR WITH AMNESIA. UGH!

*not to be confused with Jem . . . although if riding a bike in a bike lane did somehow make you Jem I would buy myself a Schwinn and go to town! She had killer outfits and THAT WOULD BE THE BEST DAY!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pinktober: Touch those boobies!

Except for skin cancers, breast cancer is the most common cancer in women, but it can be successfully treated. Screening tests can find cancer early, when it’s most treatable.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure® recommends that you:

1. Know your risk
Talk to your family to learn about your family health history
Talk to your provider about your personal risk of breast cancer

2. Get screened
Ask your doctor which screening tests are right for you if you are at a higher risk
Have a mammogram every year starting at age 40 if you are at average risk
Have a clinical breast exam at least every 3 years starting at 20, and every year starting at 40

3. Know what is normal for you
See your health care provider right away if you notice any of these breast changes:
Lump, hard knot or thickening
Swelling, warmth, redness or darkening
Change in the size or shape of the breast
Dimpling or puckering of the skin
Itchy, scaly sore or rash on the nipple
Pulling in of your nipple or other parts of the breast
Nipple discharge that starts suddenly
New pain in one spot that doesn’t go away

4. Make healthy lifestyle choices
Maintain a healthy weight
Add exercise into your routine
Limit alcohol intake
*Image found HERE