1. He shocked me by showing up during my visit to Grandma’s house. He was all sexy and sans-shirt trying to woo me away from family time. PUH-LEEZ. Grandpa even invited him in and let him join us for a running time of approximately 124 minutes. Thank goodness Gramps didn’t ask him to dinner too.
2. When I got out of the shower this morning I heard a familiar voice, but I thought there was no way he’d stoop so low as to show up at The BF’s house. I cautiously took a look into the living room and what do I see?! That’s right, him again! Hanging out with The BF shooting this shit about golf and trying to be funny. This time he wasn’t alone, he brought a whole Entourage . . . the nerve!
Listen Mark, just in case you hit your head and forgot . . . this lady in white* isn’t me! We’re Dunzo. Now stop stalking me.
*nice dress, though.