Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Dozen Questions

I’ve been thinking lately. Not just regular thinking, some deep-philosopher-type-thinking. As a result, I have some important questions for which I do not have answers:

1. What is the Rock cooking?
2. Why do I always correlate Lara Linney and Holly Hunter together in my mind?
3. How do you solve a problem like Maria?
4. Is it time to go home yet?
5. Why don’t more people pronounce Mustache as “Moo-Staush”?
6. Am I going to have as much gray hair as my mom?
7. Whatever happened to this Stud Muffin?
8. What kind of rascal says Stud Muffin?!
9. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
10. Why did I think brown lip liner and chap stick was once a good look?*
11. Did you know HH’s uncle played the dad on Alex Mack!?
12. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

*before you thrown up in your mouth please realize this was circa 1994 and I wasn’t the only one.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

That wedding was over a year ago!?

Dear H&MThePeopleNotTheStore,
Happy One Year Wedding Anniversary!

Don’t be fooled, I am well aware that you did NOT in fact tie the knot on June 25th 2008, however as you’ll read here, on June 5th 2009 [the date of your actual anniversary] I was unable able to construct the letter I’m now writing. Plus being late is part of my charm.

M – I have to hand it to you, you’ve undoubtedly nabbed yourself a wife who fits into the family better than anyone else to date. . . including some people who are actually related.* That is a monumental accomplishment that I’m certain few others will ever be able to obtain. I’m stoked we’ve grown closer over the past couple years. I think you’re an amazing talent and from what I can tell, a pretty stellar hubby.

H – SERIOUSLY where do I begin!? You’re one of my favorites and it’s hard to remember the family before you were a part of it. You were a flawless bride and will be an amazing mom!

Congrats on making it through your first year and an even bigger congrats on getting knocked up . . . I can’t wait to meet the little guy!


*you know the few I’m talking about . . . NOT IT!

Monday, June 22, 2009

If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.

Luckily, the recent absence of my blogs has not been paired with an absence in TweetADoodles. Sooo. . . let’s take a look at what I’ve dubbed as my top tweets to date:

1. Is it weird that I got super excited when Ja Rule and JLo came on the radio? 5:44 PM Apr 16th

2. Am I too old to wake up with the ink from a bar's stamp on my face from sleeping on my hand? 11:00 AM May 3rd

3. At JFK, I might pee from excitement. Or it's possible it was the sprite. 4:58 PM May 12th

4. Is it weird that when I see a real Monet painting that the first thing that pops in my head is a clueless quote? 11:11 AM May 14th

5. Bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, 2 outs, and I put my rally cap on, Yankees Won! Best game ever! 8:34 AM May 16th

6. People that say "doodle" are fun, creative, and witty. 5:57 PM May 27th

7. My mother called to tell me she found "the babysitters club" board game in a thrift store. Jealous? 8:22 PM May 27th

8. You know it's going to be a good day when you find a surprise watermelon in your car. 9:51 AM May 29th

9. Still at work. Argh. (don't be confused my job is not that of a pirate) 7:42 PM Jun 2nd

10. Public apology: @alittleLL I'm sorry for "busting your nose and giving you 2 black eyes" I will not throw things at you anymore. 7:36 PM Jun 8th

11. The Pei Wei guy just gave me free potstickers, it's nice to have boobs! 6:01 PM Jun 16th

12. Remember that time I realized how cool it is to pronounce "mustache" as "moo-staush"... Get on board folks, all the cool kids are doing it! 9:03 AM Jun 19th

Now wasn’t that fun?! Don’t worry I’m not delusional enough to think anyone is interested in this list more than I am, and I’m okay with that.*

*That’s probably a fib.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Insert Letter Here

Dear MayBirthdayBoy,
Well let’s call a spade a spade, this letter is LATE. Additionally, I’m ill prepared to draft our 11 month anniversary letter, yet here we are on the 6th once again. Let’s dub this brief note a placeholder for things to come. Just don’t hold your breath until then, it doesn’t bode well for your safety and I’d like to keep you around for a while.

Your continued patience is greatly appreciated. Here is your reward*:


*normally I wouldn't been keen on a boob shot taking up space on the 'ol blog. . .
but you can drool over the boobs whilst I drool over the bling!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Only 16 days overdue.

Dear LLWeeWee*,
Here’s your official birthday letter – late of course, because that’s how I roll.

I’m happy you’re 27 now just like me. You thought you’d be able to escape Father Time, but that bastard is tricky. Don’t worry, studies show** consuming large amounts of wine whilst watching bad TV makes you look younger. . .JACKPOT.

Thanks for being a great roomie this past year, I can’t wait to move into CND*** soon!


*She pees when she gets too excited.
**I made this up
**This is the name of our soon to be new pad, it stands for “Casa No Drama”. So pretty much the opposite of now.
***Modesty is just one of my amazing attributes