Monday, April 6, 2009

Not you again!

Dear Mondays,
As a wise women once said, you’re a dingleberry wiener! You always come along to put an end to weekends and make everyone go back to their jobs. For this I say UP YOUR ASS WITH A TANK OF GAS, MONDAY!

Everyone is crabby when you come along, you get sick pleasure in stopping any iota of fun and relaxation. That is not cool, not cool at all. Why don’t you spend some time with Saturday and take a page out of its book? Saturday says it’s okay to have 2 tequila shots before 5pm. But you? OH NOO, no tequila on Mondays. Not unless you want to get frowned upon or worst yet labeled the office drunk!

I get that you have a job to do, but you don’t have to be such a douche. Why don’t you start the week out by adding an extra hour of sleep time to the agenda for everyone? I’m sure you’re pals with Father Time, pull some effing strings already!

You suck so hard. I’m certain you’ll file this letter under “tell me something I don’t know” where you put all the other items that curse your name. . . and you know what that’s just fine. But know this: if you ever take tangible human form after I’m done crapping from fear, I’ve got a knuckle sandwich with your name all over it!


1 comment:

  1. yeah. knuckle sandwich. mondays hate knuckle sandwiches. you get em!